tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8573062537392028801.post4981464817796805971..comments2019-04-24T19:42:58.254-07:00Comments on Breaking the Tyrant's Rod: Two Years Ago - The Second IncidentAdela Albahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00378821081049143169noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8573062537392028801.post-49467753464341044392013-03-20T21:22:02.703-07:002013-03-20T21:22:02.703-07:00Oh yes, that's always a good one. By the time ...Oh yes, that's always a good one. By the time they are done, I feel like I need to apologize...well, I used to feel that way. Not any more, 'cause I remember they are predators. ;-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8573062537392028801.post-50032906962938183082013-03-19T19:36:32.073-07:002013-03-19T19:36:32.073-07:00Thanks! I've come a long way on handling thing...Thanks! I've come a long way on handling things these past two years.<br /><br />Don't forget the faux-pology. They can sound like they're apologizing but really they aren't owning anything and are completely invalidating you at the same time. Usually starts with "I'm sorry IF" or "I'm sorry BUT" and includes phrases like "it wasn't meant that way" or "it wasn't my intention".<br /><br />Adela Albahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00378821081049143169noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8573062537392028801.post-82630838654026809792013-03-17T09:20:06.709-07:002013-03-17T09:20:06.709-07:00Yes, they do operate in similar ways, I see severa...Yes, they do operate in similar ways, I see several items that are exactly what I have experienced with my Nmom & Nsis.<br />1. Using sensitive issues against you...classic move and I have learned not to show anything that bothers me. If you show any weakness, they will pounce on it and use it. Remember they are predators.<br />2. They don't respect boundaries. When you need time to think about something, they pressure and demand instead of being respectful as a normal person would do. They want what they want right now, they want everyone to jump to their demands right now, they want to stalk and harass you to control you. Remember they are predators.<br />3. If they can't get to you, they will attack family members, ie husbands, children. They will wail to your husband about what a terrible person you are, they will try to suck pity from him, they will suck his attention by keeping him on the phone as he is too polite to disengage from these vampires. Remember they are predators.<br />4.They will always 'spin' the event and use diversionary tactics. Bait and switch is their favorite game. Keeping the attention off the facts or truth is what they excel at. You will feel like a gazelle that is being hunted by two lions, never knowing which way to jump or run. Remember they are predators.<br />5. They will shamelessly use guilt because it works on those of us who actually have a conscience. Declarations of love or need to communicate or need for close family ties are all just a "come on" to get you to let your guard down and get close enough for them to make a meal of you again. Remember they are predators.<br /><br />I used to want to talk things over with them, explain and sort things out but time taught me that was just foolishness. So now I revel in the things that drive them crazy....<br />Caller ID <br />Not ever sharing anything that is meaningful to me-staying very distant physically and mentally.<br />NEVER responding immediately if they make a request or demand.<br />Requiring politeness, at the first sign of rudeness, I'm outta there.<br />Funny, they don't seem to want much to do with me anymore. I guess I don't make a very good meal for them.:-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8573062537392028801.post-45617458112439005112013-03-17T08:14:23.503-07:002013-03-17T08:14:23.503-07:00That's an excellent analogy!
It's like th...That's an excellent analogy!<br /><br />It's like they all read the same N manual or something. I have a friend whose mother is far worse than mine; if one were to describe my NM as "insane", her mother would have to be described as "criminally insane". But when we're swapping stories the similarities never cease the amaze us. Two evil women, from two different countries, but so much in common!Adela Albahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00378821081049143169noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8573062537392028801.post-21064428673036568772013-03-17T08:02:56.382-07:002013-03-17T08:02:56.382-07:00By far the worst/best tag-team incident was almost...By far the worst/best tag-team incident was almost month after The Confrontation when my paternal grandmother passed away. NM and I weren't speaking, but I could hear her telling my E-Sis other things to say over the phone. They were both trying to talk me out of traveling to the funeral with my father. Needless to say, they weren't going. Although it's worth noting that my father didn't want NM there (she and my grandmother didn't have a good relationship).<br /><br />That's something I'll never forgive.Adela Albahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00378821081049143169noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8573062537392028801.post-42570549264190046092013-03-17T05:42:04.118-07:002013-03-17T05:42:04.118-07:00Let me throw another light on the pizza incident, ...Let me throw another light on the pizza incident, because this is EXACTLY what my NFOO would do: they were HOPING your feelings would be hurt that you weren't included. What does the pizza represent? It represents them, the tight little club, and you, the outsider, who has to stand outside with her nose pressed to the window as the snow falls down upon you, just WISHING you were included in their happy little party. <br /><br />I had a similar pizza incident where I walked in at the promised time to do a favor (N's really operate all alike, don't they?) to find an empty pizza box and fake-sincere, "Oh, we didn't know you were coming." (after they specifically ordered me to be there.) I said breezily "Oh, that's okay; I had surf & turf before I drove up" (I hadn't, but I wanted to watch their expressions). Suddenly they leapt on me for being "selfish" and "only thinking of" myself. Yup, that projection told me all I needed to know about their motivations.<br />--LuLooAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8573062537392028801.post-13851756862671553012013-03-17T04:51:54.702-07:002013-03-17T04:51:54.702-07:00Your "mother" is a typical obtuse, pot-s...Your "mother" is a typical obtuse, pot-stirring NP. She and Nsis know *exactly* what went down and this was no "failure to communicate:" It's an UNWILLINGNESS to communicate.<br />What a tag-team. No doubt, between the two of them they could bend light rays if they put their mind to it. <br />TWTundra Womanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12262066568878267648noreply@blogger.com