Samantha's E-mail

I will now share and provide my own analysis. I haven't send my response yet, but I will soon. Please, let me know what you think of this little gem! My comments are in bold.

THE LETTER: Subject line is "Hi"

I was pretty upset by what happened yesterday.  Not only was a floored by [FRIEND A]’s attack at me, but I was hurt by your response to me.  I know it’s not about taking sides, but I thought you could be there for me, at least.  I know you were [busy with something very important], but I felt hurt by your response.  You could have just said “Hey, I’m [busy] right now and can’t talk” and I would have understood… but what you said hurt. Really? I don't think you'd understand if I'd just said that. I think you would have complained about how I wasn't there for you! How could I be so curt and brief with you? For the record, in my response I basically agreed with Friend A's interpretation of events, said I was busy with something unquestionably important, and that I wouldn't be taking sides.

I’m not saying that I’m perfect and have no wrong doing ever [Which totally absolves me of any and all guilt in this], but I don’t think I was wrong in this situation.  And I feel that… whenever you come to me with problems or arguments about those friends, or your family, or anybody. I don’t tell you that I think you’re wrong, or side with them – I say I understand and commiserate with you.  So when I’m supremely upset about something one of our friends say to me [Apparently you missed the memo, Friend A hasn't been your friend for a long time], and I go to you and you agree with them? Yeah, I’m pretty hurt.  Especially when it’s over something so petty and insignificant [She has no clue what any of this is really about].  I feel like I’ve always been agreeable when it comes to your problems, even if I don’t always necessarily agree with you or think your response is silly (just as you said you thought what I did was “silly”), but I feel like that’s not my place and that’s not what you need – you need someone to be on your side, and say “Yeah, that sucks!” – which is what I do [No, I would rather have a friend who would be honest with me. Clearly we have different ideas of what a good friend is.].  So, to have you not do that made me feel pretty betrayed.  I thought we were there for each other in support whenever we needed it, regardless of the other things going on. [Regardless of if you have something incredibly important to do that can't wait. See why I think she'd complain if I had just said what she claims I could have?]  It really stung.

As for what actually happened, I am honestly shocked that it came to that with [FRIEND A].  No one has said a single thing to me about anything, except for now when someone blows up at me on a public forum – you can understand why I’m slightly perturbed at that.  I don’t think it’s fair to me.  As I said, everyone has a certain topic that they talk about often, I don’t think it’s fair to attack me for mine.  In no case have I ever insulted anyone or not come because of food [Really? You insulted Friend A when she was eating red velvet cake. And my sister.].  I’ve asked to make sure it’s okay if I bring my own food.  I bring my own sweetener so as not to cause issue.  It is my way of life that I choose and it affects nobody, so I really think that’s unfair.  So I made a joke about it? [It was a joke, it's all your guys' fault for overeacting! I am absolved any and all guilt! She really doesn't understand that this isn't about her diet.] Everyone in that group has some topic that they continually mention or joke about, why can’t I? It wasn’t at the expense of anyone. 

If I have done something that’s harmful to someone, I’d rather people just tell me [Because she reacts to criticism SO well.]. This is not the first time something like this has happened to me from this group, and I have a terrible feeling it won’t be the last.  If someone has an issue with me, say it. Don’t blow up at me over something so ridiculous, especially in front of other friends of ours. I know you didn’t do this, but I’m just explaining my frustration with it [I am trying to justify my behavior to you so you will take my side].  Also, I’ve seen [FRIEND A] maybe twice since her wedding… so I don’t even understand where she can be getting this information about what I talk about so much, unless other people are talking about how I annoy them behind my back, which I also find extremely frustrating.  I don’t particularly want to be back in Jr. High and the star of all the girl gossip. It doesn’t make me feel good.[Yes, people are talking about. Because they can't talk to you. Oh, and you were the star of the gossip, huh? It was a pretty big school, I don't recall anything traveling behind much beyond your own clique.]

I know I haven’t been around as much as I used to, and I don’t know if that’s an issue that bothers people.  I’m sorry. I really am sorry that I can’t be around like I was before.  I literally do not even know how to find the time.  I’ve already left behind multiple friends who I didn’t feel were worth the time after Aric and I started dating and merged our friend groups and families, there has just been so much going on that I just can not make it around as much – trust in the fact that I see your group more often than I see any other group of friends, excluding maybe my own family. I don’t even get down time to just relax at home anymore. I’m not complaining, I like my life now – I’m just explaining how things have changed.[Clearly, we should feel privileged she makes any time for us at all! That she hasn't dropped us! Poor her, always so busy! If she sees us more than anyone else, I can't begin to imagine how little she sees her other friends. Poor baby has no time to relax, but oh she isn't complaining! She loves all the fucking attention.]

As I said earlier, I’m not perfect and I know I’m not always the easiest person – but I don’t think that means I deserve whatever it is that’s happening. [I admit I am flawed, that absolves me of all guilt.] I’ve been a good friend with everyone for a long time [Really? Nobody else thinks so. Friend B described you once as a "friend of a friend" and Friend A has only tolerated you all these years for my sake.], and I’d appreciate it if people would treat me as such and just talk to me privately if there is an issue [They must come to me, even now that I know there is an issue, I will not bring it to them. They are responsible I am never responsible!]. I feel like things here just build up so much and then I get lashed out at, and how am I supposed to know there’s even an issue if everyone just talks amongst themselves about it but not with me?

That’s about it.  I just wanted to get out how I was feeling.  I’m glad you think you did well on your [what I was busy with].  You know I love you, and you’re very important to me… and I never write these kinds of emails, but it’s just been eating at me and I wanted to.

THE END! So... Your thoughts, my fellow bloggers? If you'd all like I can post my revised response.