I Will Find Myself Someday

I mentioned before how important music is in my life. Music is moving and powerful, so I want to share songs that mean things to me with others, so that such music might help them as it helps me. This is a song that's fit me rather well for awhile now. I shared it with everyone at Kiki's (Re) Birthday Party, but I want to put it on my blog, too. I find the lyrics fitting, but hopeful, and the melody gives me a sense of promise for the future, of overcoming. It's called Back to Me, by Three Doors Down. Once more, I have bolded parts of the lyrics that touch me the most, which is almost all the lyrics, actually, so I'll underline some parts, too.

 

Lyrics:
I have poured out my heart,
And laid it right here for you,
And I've tried so hard,
That's the best that I can do,
Please understand I am not who I was,

You used to be all that I had,
Now you're just not what I need,
I've got to get over you and I know,
Then I can get back to me.

Tears forget, that's more than I can do,
'Cause they don't wash away,
All the things that we've been through,
I've put behind me my share of the shame,
We could call villains but it's all in vain.

You used to be all that I had,
Now you're just not what I need,
I've got to get over you and I know,
Then I can get back to me.

All of my life I've waited hoping,
Wanting you to see me the way that I am,
But now I know, that I'm not alone
Someone understands

You used to be all that I had,
Now you're just not what I need,
I've got to get over you and I know,
Then I can get back to me.

You've got to know that

You used to be all that I had,
Now you're just not what I need,
I've got to get over you and I know,
Then I can get back to me.

Then I can get back to me,
(Then I can get back to me)
Then I can get back to me

I did pour out my heart, or tried to anyway, to my NM during what I call "The Confrontation"... Which didn't work out so well. And I really don't feel I am the same person I was before coming to all these realizations about my mother and my childhood. I can't go back to who I was when I didn't see those things, it's impossible. What NM has, what she offers, it was once all I had, but now I know I do not need it. So slowly, ever so slowly, I work through it all, to find and reclaim my true self.